Landslide
by Aspen DeCew
There were only two words on the other end of the line.
"Shawn's dead."
On May 16, 2010, my 28-year-old nephew, Shawn André DeCew, hiked to the top of a mountain with two friends.
He knelt down to photograph a flower, as he so often did, when the ground gave way. He fell 200 feet to his death.
It was incomprehensible. My brother, Larry, was in disbelief...his son was gone. By the time I arrived at my
brother's home near Salem, Oregon, he was immersed in the preparations for the memorial. He asked if I
would help him to create a playlist of songs to be played after the memorial, something that would support
everyone in letting go and grieving. We chose song after song that would facilitate this and muddled our
way through our emotions with each song that reminded us of Shawn and his amazing life.
I felt a song gnawing at me. I couldn't remember the name of it or the words. It was like the experience when
there is a word on the tip of your tongue and you can feel it. I kept saying, "What is that song?" And then,
there it was, in my iTunes library. Without making the connection to what the title was saying, I knew I had
found the song. As I sat there with my brother, I hit the play button, and Stevie Nicks began to speak...
"THIS IS FOR YOU, DADDY."
My whole body froze. Then she began to sing, "I took my love and I took it down; I climbed a mountain
and I turned around; and I saw my reflection in a snow covered hill 'til the landslide brought me down."
I couldn't hit the pause button fast enough.
Suddenly, I was aware of the title of the song: "LANDSLIDE." Prior to that, I not only had no recollection
of the title, I had no memory of the words, the musician, or the message, just a feeling that there was a
song I needed to find. I instantly felt it was a message for my brother. "This is for you, Daddy," not as a
bad nightmare or a morbid description of his death, but somehow a description of the gift of his life AND
the purpose of his death. "I took my love and I took it down."
For obvious reasons, the song didn't make the playlist for the memorial CD. It hit way too close to home,
but it most definitely made my playlist of "Shawn's Songs." I listened to all of the songs over and over.
They were my healing, and I was compelled by every one of them. But the one I listened to the most
was the one that began with, "This is for you, Daddy." The more I listened to "Landslide," the more the
message for my brother seemed to come through. What I didn't realize was that there was a specific
message in this song for me and my life-a different one.
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